Laughing at the Days to Come

I recently underwent my first quarter-life crisis.  Apparently sitting under the stars at a Young Life camp has a certain effect on a person – mainly it can make them question the significance of everything they once considered important.  One simple devotional asked the question, “If you were truly living your life in obedience to God, what would change?”  Then came the other questions.  These were the kind of questions that cut the chase all together and left my head spinning…  Why was I suddenly questioning whether or not I went to school in the fall?  Why was I so unsure of which school I should attend?  Why did I now feel the strong desire to leave my family and friends behind and  get out of East Lansing and maybe Michigan, and maybe the United States?  What about Young Life in Eaton Rapids?  Why was he putting so many people in my life with the same questions?  Why was God testing all of the things that I thought were important?  Most of all, why was God giving me so many questions and no answers?  Suddenly, I had no earthly plans.  Only the little faith that the Lord has entrusted me with and a little time to sort through my exhausted emotions.

All almost twenty-some people have been faced with the question, “What do you want to be?”  Some people have legitimate career goals while others use trite answers like “happy” or “rich”.  When my dad asked me that question this summer after my great “I think I’m dropping out of school” announcement, I stared at him blankly and finally faced the brutal truth that I had no idea.  Journalist?  Wife and mother?  Artist?  Fencing champion?  Servant of God and others?  Yeah, that last one sounded good.  Still, I found no way to avoid the question of where in God’s earthly creation to carry out that calling.  Apparently only a handful of people can stay at Young Life camp for their entire lives and at least for right now, as hard as I try, I’m not one of them.  Thus began the endless mind game of determining my future.  I started matching my options like a bad game of clue.  I thought, “I’ll live in Chicago, work in a coffee shop, and then eventually take bible classes at Moody.  No, I’ll just drop out of school and work here in Lansing for a while and find a cheap apartment on my own.  No, I’ll stay at Michigan State and check out other schools while I make candle sticks for Professor Plumb.”  First session of Summer Staff, Castaway, and two weeks at home came and went – no solution to the mystery, and no writing on the wall as to where I should go.  God, if you wanted me to stay at Michigan State, living with my parents, why did you put all of these questions on my heart in the first place?  I didn’t care that the whole world and especially my family thought that I needed a degree, I could’ve gone anywhere… I would’ve gone anywhere…

Come September 1st I’ll be living in my parents house and starting my sophomore year as a Journalism student at Michigan State University.  So, what’s the point of this whole thing, of my whole summer?  I believe that the point is to BE the servant that he created me to be WHEREVER I am, WHATEVER I am doing.  Proverbs 31 describes, “The Wife of Noble Character”.   It says, “she is worth far more than rubies… ” Verse 25 in particular strikes at the very heart of all of the questions that came up this summer:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

You see, the Lord has shown me that if I trust that he is the God that he says he is, then he truly will direct my path, he won’t leave me wanting and he will clothe me with righteousness and peace.  If I’m serving the God of the universe, surely I can trust him to lead me to wherever he wants to take me, whenever he wants me there.  Until then, I follow David’s instruction: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.”