It Has Been So Long October

Hello October!  Goodbye October.  Hello November?  Goodbye November...

What a fall.  So much to love.  These past two months had too many words.  Maybe these will speak for themselves:

"Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."

Bad Days, Sleeping In and Major Changes

Alright Young Life friends, forgive me but it's confession time - I hate the Daniel Powter song, Bad Day.  His voice is irritating, the song is repetitive, it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense lyrically and I think we can all agree that the song is a little annoyingly depressing.  However, as much as I dislike listening to it, I also admit that I think everyone was feeling the Canadian one-hit-wonder to some degree at a few spots during the course of his radio time.  Strip away the vocals and I think Dan asks some pretty valid questions.  Where was the passion when you need it the most?  Forget for a second how grammatically incorrect that question is and disregard how cliche it seems in our over stereo-typed generation of suburban white kids searching for meaning.  Where is the passion when you need it the most?  Normally I wouldn't even think about that question.  It's silly for a Christian to even question passion right?  My passion is Jesus Christ, right?


It's starting to become public knowledge that I'm no longer pursuing a Journalism degree.  Every time someone new learns about this "exciting twist" they ask, "what'd you switch too?"  And then I have to say it.  Undeclared.  Oh, I'm learning just how much American culture hates that word.  Uh oh, their shifting gaze is going to melt me if I don't come up with some explanation for my outrageous actions, I better justify my choice.  I'm taking a semester to figure things out.  I just don't know what I want to do.  I'm not sure what I can afford for my education right now.  Then the brave souls offer the obvious question and answer. "Miss, it's simple.  What are you passionate about? Figure that out and just do it."  No offense to you if you've been one to pose this "simple" yet remarkable solution, but really?  That's the best you've got?  Have I gotten to be 19 without considering what I'm passionate about?  Have I really not been told a thousand times to just "do what I love?"  I'm a Christian.  I know what I'm passionate about and I know what I love.  Please answer this question: what about when I don't feel passionate at all?  What about when I wake up in the morning and pray to God, YHWH, creator of the universe, my sweet, awesome, loving, merciful, just, powerful, heavenly Father and I have to beg him that I would have the energy to even seek him that day?  If you know me, you know that I love mornings.  I love filling them with prayer and coffee and scripture and I love starting my day with what I know I was created for.  Let me be painfully honest and maybe you can relate:  some days I would rather just sleep in.  After all, what can I change about this world or about this life?


Here is why my attitude must change:  The wife of noble character who can find? ....


  13 She selects wool and flax 
       and works with eager hands.
 ¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
       bringing her food from afar.
 ¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.
 ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
       her arms are strong for her tasks.
 ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
       and her lamp does not go out at night.


Proverbs 31 woman is the absolute antonym of the apathy that I find myself caught up in.  So, where is the passion to change my outlook?  How am I to be inspired by my savior once again?  I think that the answer is in the same chapter.  Verse 30 says "a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."  It's time that I started fearing the LORD.  It is time that I started looking for his power and seeking his heart instead of just demanding that he show me how he is working.


A few days ago I was back up at Timber Wolf Lake for a leaders weekend.  The speaker there said this: "There are three things to know about our God.  He is a God of power.  He is a God of presence.  He is a God of passion."  It's time that I begin to know my God.  His grace, and dare I say his passion, is sufficient for me.  When I can't feel him, I can still know him.  He is a God of power.  He is a God of presence.  He is a God of passion.  Now that I'm learning what to know, what must I do?  How about this:


 ⁸ He has showed you, O man, what is good.
       And what does the LORD require of you?
       To act justly and to love mercy
       and to walk humbly with your God.


I don't know if you or Daniel Powter noticed this, but those are verbs.  Act.  Love.  Walk.  It's not simple and it's not easy, but it is good.  And what's more, it is what He requires of me.  If each day is a day that the LORD has made, each day is good.  It's time to stop singing sad songs - the LORD has triumphed over death.  You had a good day.  You had a good day.  Had a good day.  Had a good day.  Had a good day.

Straight Paths

"We should not be too taken aback when unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things happen to us now. What do they mean? Simply that God in His wisdom means to make something of us which we have not attained yet, and He is dealing with us accordingly." 

J.I Packer

Laughing at the Days to Come

I recently underwent my first quarter-life crisis.  Apparently sitting under the stars at a Young Life camp has a certain effect on a person – mainly it can make them question the significance of everything they once considered important.  One simple devotional asked the question, “If you were truly living your life in obedience to God, what would change?”  Then came the other questions.  These were the kind of questions that cut the chase all together and left my head spinning…  Why was I suddenly questioning whether or not I went to school in the fall?  Why was I so unsure of which school I should attend?  Why did I now feel the strong desire to leave my family and friends behind and  get out of East Lansing and maybe Michigan, and maybe the United States?  What about Young Life in Eaton Rapids?  Why was he putting so many people in my life with the same questions?  Why was God testing all of the things that I thought were important?  Most of all, why was God giving me so many questions and no answers?  Suddenly, I had no earthly plans.  Only the little faith that the Lord has entrusted me with and a little time to sort through my exhausted emotions.

All almost twenty-some people have been faced with the question, “What do you want to be?”  Some people have legitimate career goals while others use trite answers like “happy” or “rich”.  When my dad asked me that question this summer after my great “I think I’m dropping out of school” announcement, I stared at him blankly and finally faced the brutal truth that I had no idea.  Journalist?  Wife and mother?  Artist?  Fencing champion?  Servant of God and others?  Yeah, that last one sounded good.  Still, I found no way to avoid the question of where in God’s earthly creation to carry out that calling.  Apparently only a handful of people can stay at Young Life camp for their entire lives and at least for right now, as hard as I try, I’m not one of them.  Thus began the endless mind game of determining my future.  I started matching my options like a bad game of clue.  I thought, “I’ll live in Chicago, work in a coffee shop, and then eventually take bible classes at Moody.  No, I’ll just drop out of school and work here in Lansing for a while and find a cheap apartment on my own.  No, I’ll stay at Michigan State and check out other schools while I make candle sticks for Professor Plumb.”  First session of Summer Staff, Castaway, and two weeks at home came and went – no solution to the mystery, and no writing on the wall as to where I should go.  God, if you wanted me to stay at Michigan State, living with my parents, why did you put all of these questions on my heart in the first place?  I didn’t care that the whole world and especially my family thought that I needed a degree, I could’ve gone anywhere… I would’ve gone anywhere…

Come September 1st I’ll be living in my parents house and starting my sophomore year as a Journalism student at Michigan State University.  So, what’s the point of this whole thing, of my whole summer?  I believe that the point is to BE the servant that he created me to be WHEREVER I am, WHATEVER I am doing.  Proverbs 31 describes, “The Wife of Noble Character”.   It says, “she is worth far more than rubies… ” Verse 25 in particular strikes at the very heart of all of the questions that came up this summer:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

You see, the Lord has shown me that if I trust that he is the God that he says he is, then he truly will direct my path, he won’t leave me wanting and he will clothe me with righteousness and peace.  If I’m serving the God of the universe, surely I can trust him to lead me to wherever he wants to take me, whenever he wants me there.  Until then, I follow David’s instruction: “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.”